Poetry from a BPD Survivor

This poem was gracefully submitted by PDAN fan Haley. Thank you, Haley, for speaking out about the experiences that have changed your life. Poetry can be an amazing form of therapy, and we encourage all PDAN friends to try creative expression to work through negative experiences and emotions.

The Bully

You are the bully that calls me names,

You call me worthless, that I deserve no friends.

So I isolate myself and cower from reality

 Under my blanket I must always stay.

So alone and afraid I cry, unsure why.

I try to ignore you, and forget your existence,

This makes you angry, you shout at me more.

I seek release in cutting my arms,

But this makes you laugh, ‘Silly child’ I hear you say.

In my bed I must stay, I do not talk, my mind hates me.

‘This is your fault’ I assume people will say.

You call me fat,

So I starve in an attempt to make you go away,

But you never do, telling me ‘I’m here to stay’.

I have lost all hope in this nightmare never ending.

I tie a noose, maybe that will make you go away,

But you still tell me ‘it will never end’.

I scream and shout my body in pain,

From the constant neglect you have led me to.

‘Oh no your family will hear you’ you tell me ‘they will never care’.

They call a doctor, the tables now turned,

Do I now hear you sad?

He makes me realise that I’m not alone,

And under my blanket I cry for help.

But you still tell me ‘there is no hope’.

Time has passed, there is no fast cure.

But I have gained an ever growing skill set,

And you are now laughing less.

As through therapy I will win.

And beat the bully, the bully in my head.

If you have a work that you would like to share with PDAN, email it to us at info@pdan.org, and we will post it on our blog!